We all know that forgiving is not an easy skill, we also know that is great. We’ve been taught since we were little to ask for forgiveness when we do something wrong and to forgive others. The implication of having to ask for forgiveness and to forgive someone might make us believe that the person who is forgiving is “granting a favor” to the other one, when the truth is just the opposite.
When we forgive someone it is not them that we liberate, it is us.
The word forgive is defined as “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.”
Please read the first part of the definition again, slowly: “Forgive is defined as stop feeling angry or resentful.” This means that when you forgive someone that has done a -terrible thing- to you, the one that is being liberated from that feeling of anger and resentment is you!
Correctly understood forgiving should be stated as a selfish act, because it liberates you instantaneously from the burden of having to feel angry or resentful, which are two of the most toxic emotions you can let into your life.
Anyone who has love and respect for him/her own self, has forgiveness as part of their core values. Because why would someone that loves herself and her life would let anyone else ruin it by letting negativity into her? Why would someone that respects himself would let anything/anyone outside of him take his peace of mind?
If you truly respect yourself you want what is best for you, right? And you don’t have to be a genius to understand that living with anger is not a positive thing and will never produce positive results.
Feeling resentful is a fast track to kissing your dreams good bye, because it takes so much energy that you could be using instead to create the beautiful amazing life you deserve! Don’t mind about the person who “did this to me” “or that”. You might be thinking “well yes it’s easy for you because you don’t imagine what he put me through” etc etc …. Yes! I know, we all have bean treated poorly (or veeery poorly) by others many times, but, letting those situations control our feelings today (even years after)… crazy!
Whatever it is someone did to you, don’t think about the other person, think about yourself! And the great life you have ahead and the desire to create greatness. By giving yourself the chance to forgive others you will transform your life.
I once did an exercise, which states this truth in a very graphic manner, I invite you to try it yourself: Next Sunday, go for a walk and collect some stones. Each stone will represent the situations or people you haven’t forgiven. The size of the stone depends on the quality of the “offense” given to you. Now keep them in your closet, and when getting dressed on Monay morning carry them with you. Inside your pants, in your suit , in your purse. Go through your day carrying them wherever you go. You cant forget them! No, they are this important heavy weight that you want to keep carrying every day, every week, every year! Just like the resentment for that person or situation.
After a few days, you’ll see it’s not easy or comfortable to walk with heavy rocks in your pants, just as it is not easy or healthy to walk with resentment and anger inside yourself.
Now, if you are an intelligent person and you want to live a great life, I would invite you to make the choice and liberate yourself once and for all. Drop those stones and forgive the people of situations they represent. You don’t have to call the people involved in your drama, you just have to take a smarter choice, from wherever you are right now and forgive them inside your mind and heart, true forgiveness will take care of the rest.
Look at yourself in the mirror and cheer, you are finally free.